There are many ways to meet potential D/s partners. Chat rooms and classified ads are only two of these ways. First time meetings always require a little extra security and safety. Here are some simple rules for those awkward first encounters.
1. Always set the meeting up well in advance, so that you have time to arrange a sufficient safety net. (This goes for Doms and subs alike.) If you are travelling, make reservations at a motel, but do NOT let the person you're meeting know where you'll be staying.
2. Arrange to meet for the first time during the daylight hours in a public place, such as a shopping centre or restaurant. Park your car a distance away, so that if the meeting goes badly, you cannot be followed away. Another good idea is to take a cab to this first meeting.
3. Do not plan to play during your initial meeting. You should have plenty to discuss, without sex or D/s play entering into the equation.
4. Think about taking along a friend. A serious potential partner won't feel intimidated.
5. Safe calls: There are many ideas out there about how safe calls should be done, but I'll only offer you my humble opinion. Arrange a Safe Call either with an independent person or with a trusted and reliable friend. Let them know your complete schedule. Give them the full name of the person you'll be meeting, their phone number and a brief physical description. You can go so far as to give them the make, model and plate number of the car your date will be driving. Make sure that your Safe call has an accurate description of you as well, and the phone number of the local police. Arrange to call your Safe Call immediately after you've met your date. Give them a keyword beforehand, that you can say if you need to get away from your date -- for example, you could say that "everything is great" if you need help, or that "everything is wonderful" if you're okay. Your safe calls should arrange to come get you, or give you some sort of "out" if you use your keyword. If you'll be spending more than a few hours with your date, it's a good idea to call your safe calls every few hours, at least at first.
6. Be honest with your date. If you feel, after this first meeting, that this person is not someone you want to be involved with, be honest and up-front about that. It's not necessarily a good idea to do this at your first meeting. Go home, sleep on it. And then arrange to speak to this person the next day. Remember, your instincts are your most valuable resource.
7. Have a good time. Be yourself. But most importantly, be SAFE and be HONEST -- with your date, and with yourself.
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